open arms and big smiles

I didn't sleep last night and I had a hard time eating much of anything all day due to my scheduled appointment in the afternoon. The unknown seems to be the cause of many uneasy feelings and some sleepless nights, but we have continued to be surprised with more blessings and miracles in the midst of the constant unknown.

I walked into the office and was welcomed with open arms and big smiles and set in the usual room. The receptionist checked what shoes I was wearing, which she does every time I come, and was happy to see the polka dots instead of the now - dreaded by all employees of my doctor - zebra print beauties....They seem to believe that those blessed shoes are the cause of my last hospital admittance and long hospital stay. Silly women...

Anyway, without much detail at all things are still about the same. Not good but not at its absolute worst. My doctor and all the nurses are absolutely amazed that this baby is still growing in my belly. They call me the 'special one', hold my hand, and walk me through every scary moment like I am one of their own. The Lord has blessed us with these fantastic doctors and nurses and we are so grateful.

It's over...

The weekend is over which means my giveaway is over and it's time to choose a winner... I'm so grateful to all those of you (friends, family and even strangers) who entered and shared a couple things that made you happy. It brought light into my own life to be able to share in those little things that made you smile. I still have a list of over 25 people (good friends, old roommates, cousins, Aunts, sisters-in-law, ward members, etc.) I know read our blog but didn't enter so weren't in the running. sad.

Even though that's the case....I'm sooo excited to announce the 2 winners that were randomly chosen from the list of those who did enter and....drum roll please..... the winners are....

Monica Bowers

Ashley Camp

Congratulations you two! Please leave a comment or email me with your home address and I will get your fun surprise in the mail this week. I'm so excited to get these little cuties to each of you...I hope you love them!

Till next time. I will update you on Tuesday after another round of evaluations and discussion with the doctor. We are so grateful to all of you for your continued love, thoughts and prayers. May the Lord continue to be with you all!

Click...

Calling all family members, friends, members of the ward and all else who I know read this blog...you only have two more days until this giveaway is over!!!
I would really love all of you who have been thinking about us, praying for us, or in any other way shape or form helping us whether near or far to enter. This whole fun giveaway is a chance for me to give back to all of you who have been supporting us (whether in the background or foreground). I get excited just at the thought of being able to give back - if I was able, I would make one of these for each of you to say "Thank you" - but I can't.

Click on the comment button below and just say "hi" if you don't want to say anything else. I will be picking randomly from all the names on Sunday and I have a very long list of names who I have thought about putting in the bunch eligible for the giveaway even though you haven't entered...but I don't think that would be very fair to those who have actually entered...right?!?!

Can't wait to hear from you....

Puzzle Pieces

In this journey our little family is on I have learned a few more intimate details about some of the virtues I most desperately want to fully acquire: Patience, Faith, Endurance and Hope. It seems as though we all find little pieces of these virtues, and others, in our individual lives and experiences but never each one in its complete 1,000 piece package. I'm sure we all wish we could just find the whole puzzle, snatch it up, call it ours, and never lose a piece, but I know that's not the way we are intended to learn here on this Earth. I've been studying a little on Patience the last few days and here are a couple of thoughts I wanted to share...

"Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required." Thomas S. Monson
"Elder Neal A. Maxwell linked patience and faith together when he taught: “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His” (“Patience,” Ensign, Oct. 1980, 28).
"We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God’s purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable" Robert C. Oaks

I finished a quilt block with embroidery recently for my Mom that just happened to have this scripture on it....

"...Tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope."
(Romans 5:3-4)

I am VERY far from fully understanding and embodying the virtues I've been studying, but I'm praying to continue finding one piece at a time in hopes that some day I will look and realize that I have found at least half of my puzzle.

Don't forget...click here and ENTER...you only have until Sunday!!!

Time.

Why does time seem to slow to a near standstill when you just want it to speed up? and why does time seem to steadily zip by you when all you want is for it to slow down so you can indulge in every moment? How is that possible?

As I made my weekly trip to the doctor yesterday I saw all the signs of life continuing on at what seems such a fast pace... new buildings erected, newly paved roads, kids coming from and going to school, new decorations on homes and buildings and the beginning signs of a new season. Andrew has gotten taller and leaner, he's grown out of most of his clothes, and he is only a month or so away from being 3 1/2! When did it all happen? Where have I been?

It seems as though I've been placed in a time warp and can't get out no matter how hard I try. Time is a funny thing.

If only time could do exactly what we want it to when we want it to....Don't you think there is a lesson to learn there?

The short rundown of my appointment....not great, but not bad. My measurements aren't good, but that isn't news to anybody. The surgery we had is doing it's job of keeping baby safe and a mere couple of stitches has allowed our baby to grow another month. (sorry if that's too much info) I got to come back home only because the medication is keeping my contractions from being regular. Baby is still breech which has allowed us to gain some precious time as well and baby is measuring approximately 4 lbs. We'll see what next week's appointment brings as long as baby stays put for the next 6 days. Keep your fingers crossed! Only TIME will tell.....hah!

Love...

Who doesn't love Grandmas...and super handsome boys?
I would really love to hear from each of you about this...don't forget about the giveaway!

Quiet as a mouse...

I see you, family and friends, coming and going from our blog... most of you are as quiet as a mouse. Do you not want a chance to win a giveaway? Something handmade and free?!?! Maybe it's just me but doesn't everyone want to get something handmade and free in the mail? Don't worry, you don't have to think of anything special or profound to say, just something happy. To those of you who have commented already, your happiness has made my day! It has meant a lot. I can't wait to hear more grateful and happy thoughts from the rest of you quiet souls!

Be Happy...there is a GiveAway!!!

So if you know me well, you know I love to make all sorts of things with my hands and since I have some extra down time these days I've been keeping my hands REALLY busy...it helps to keep my sanity in check as well! :)

I decided to make something special to offer those of you who are coming to our blog to stay updated on our journey. Also to those of you who have been supporting us and praying for us along the way and continue to do so. Here it is...A "Be Happy" embroidery. I started it as a reminder to myself of all the little things in my life I have to be happy about and to be grateful for...some of which I've been trying to share with all of you in my posts. Now I've decided the best thing I can do with this, what will give me the most joy, is to give it away to someone else. So here goes....

The giveaway is for one of these cute finished and framed patterns. It will vary slightly as I am stitching it on a tea dyed fabric. I am making TWO so I will choose two separate winners to receive this little cutie in the mail. The frame will differ slightly as well...don't worry, it will still be cute. How to enter? Well, leave a comment and tell me what little thing made you happy today and what color frame you would choose for yourself if you won the giveaway. (if you are randomly chosen and haven't stated a particular color, your frame will be black). The giveaway will close midnight Eastern time on Sunday September 27th and the two winners will randomly be chosen and announced on the 28th. Good luck!

Today I am grateful for the little rays of sunshine that seep through the cracks of my blinds each morning and the little micro exfoliating beads in my delicious smelling body wash...

Noses...

Today I have the best company in the whole world right by my side...my sweetheart. He had surgery bright and early this morning on his nose. He got a nose job....no, I'm just kidding. He has a seriously deviated septum and needed to get it fixed. I was so sad waking up this morning to a quiet house knowing that my best friend and husband was in the hospital and I couldn't be there for him when he woke up. I obviously can't do much for him, but I'm so grateful I get to be here to welcome him home, help change his bandages and hold his hand. We are so lucky to have Doug's Mom in town to help us out....we are a pretty pathetic pair today! Thanks LaVon!

I have been very surprised at the adjustment it's been for me to come home from the hospital. I thought it would just be a great big relief and I would be ecstatic from the moment I walked in the door! You would probably think that too.....right?!?! Well, it actually took a few days...and to be honest, maybe a few more after that. Maybe it was the fear and worry of the unknown possibilities that made it hard. Maybe it was the pain and discomfort, or just the frustration that comes with the fact that you should be all better when you leave the hospital - not the same. Actually, I think it's all too complicated to go into the details of why on Earth it would turn out that way...it just is what it is. I've come to find that I'm just a big roller coaster right now-up and down and all around - and this journey is the ride you get on and then as you are strapped in you are also fitted with a blindfold....you never know what to expect. We've adjusted and regained our balance. I can't even say it with words that express the feelings projected behind this statement....we have been soooo incredibly blessed by the Lord to have this child still safe in my belly. How grateful we are for the miracles we've seen! As I lie here next to a sleeping and healing Doug I've been thinking about Faith and Fear....I just read a talk by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. Here is just a little snippet....
"Fear can make us run away from things—things like setting and achieving goals, developing relationships, or becoming the people we know we should become. Sometimes fear can even paralyze us to the point that we don’t even try.

Fear can be a thick fog that smothers our dreams. It can be a cage that restrains us from reaching our destiny. It can be a weight that restrains our every step.

We may not be immune to being afraid, but we do not have to succumb to it."
"Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail." (D&C 6:34)

We all feel fear. It manifests itself in various forms and might weave us blindfolded up and down and all around, but we know that with the Lord we will always find ourselves peace and safety at the end of the ride.

Today I'm grateful for my nose, no matter how bumpy my bridge may be. May Doug's heal quickly and his breath forever be effortless...

Houdini

Nobody warned me about having to train the next Houdini...I don't think I'm ready for this.

Birthdays....

Yesterday was Doug's birthday. I won't tell you how old he is but I will tell you....he's getting old. I love to celebrate Doug's birthday, Christmas, Father's Day, Valentine's Day.... I guess I just love any reason I can find to do something special for him. But this time I can't go shopping, cook, decorate, or bake. So how do we celebrate?

I remember years ago when I was on bed rest with Andrew and it was Valentine's Day or Father's Day...something like that. Doug came home and found me lying on the couch with the phone book and the telephone sobbing uncontrollably. I was so devastated that I couldn't do anything for him. In his sweet and gentle way he somehow settled me down. Once I picked myself up out of my slobbery and snotty mess I made him a card. On the card I spelled 'Valentine' wrong. Way to go me. I'm sure I cried some more after that.

Anyway, I digress. Back to Doug's birthday. The nurses in the hospital said they would decorate my bed with balloons and such....but instead, and MUCH better off, we stayed at home. Doug worked his tail off around the house and outside all day. He grilled some super delicious pork chops and corn on the cob and then we enjoyed the Birthday cheesecake that my Mom made for him. Thanks Mom!
Thanks to some secret helpers we do have a couple presents for him, but he hasn't been able to open them yet. He did get a special present though, on the day of his birth....a new baby bunny!
Isn't he cute?!? (the bunny) Doug caught him in our backyard and brought him inside to show me. I was just REALLY glad it wasn't a snake! We let him go and watched him hop off into the woods a very scared but very relieved little bunny.
Over the years I have come to not enjoy my own birthday very much. It's 4 days after the new year starts and everyone is tired from Christmas and New Year, they haven't turned the page on their calendar yet or haven't bought a new calendar and my birthday tends to just get forgotten. This used to make me really sad, but I've realized that it doesn't really matter. Doug put it perfectly..."The best birthday present I could get is to be home with my wife and son." What better way could you celebrate the start of a new year of life than to surround yourself with the people who love you the most?

Today I'm grateful for melt-in-your-mouth marinades and jewel toned clothes that actually fit.

And in a whole other ballpark... I'm grateful for an amazing husband. He is the best teammate I could have ever chosen. Happy Birthday!

Sleeplessness

Sleep is hard to come by in the hospital. Isn't sleep supposed to greatly benefit the healing process.....?!? Here you sleep in a bed full of lighted call buttons and machines with flashing lights, an air mattress with lights, and the hall lights. You're also nudged out of your dreamless sleep countless times for various reasons (meds, exams, checks, etc.) and most of all your brain can't stop thinking, wondering, worrying, mulling, etc. Napping during the day to compensate is unheard of too. How can you sleep when most every thought is consumed with all the unknown and potentially scary possibilities that loom in front of you? Well folks, today I'm saying goodbye to a couple (yes, only a couple) of these reasons for sleeplessness. That's right....they are letting me go home for the time being.

Lots of mixed emotions come along with this decision and I'm sure there are many who won't be able to understand why, so let me explain....

The troubles are not over. It's been explained to me numerous times that just because they have decided to send me home DOESN'T mean coming back for another long stay isn't in our future....in fact, they've said that they are planning on seeing me again soon. The doctor said in all reality that I could have only 3 days or maybe even a week at home and then have to be readmitted. This is NOT the exciting part of this decision and naturally begs the question: then why send me home? They have squelched the fire of the initial crisis a few weeks ago when we almost had the baby and we have seen things calm down since then. My body isn't fixed, healed or better, just stable for the past few days.

This doesn't mean that I get to run around and play at home...I get to do the same things at home that I've been doing here. nothing. BUT... I DO get to see my family, eat with my family, watch them play and not be an hour away. I get to read stories to my boy and not sleep alone. I get to hear my boy play in the bathtub and enjoy everyone's company for longer than a couple hours. If I get that for 3 days....it will be 3 fantabulous days!

I will be right back in the doctor's office being checked on Tuesday and continue weekly and most likely bi-weekly very soon. That is, if nothing else happens. So that is where we go from here...

As I look back on the past few weeks I've spent here I honestly don't remember a lot (except all the things that kept me from sleep), but what I do remember and will never forget is that the chance to be here and have these specialists, doctors and nurses take care of me and my baby has saved our family from having our son before he was ready. The time I've spent here has saved us the life and health of our boy...that I will never forget.

Dear Grandma,

I was just recently told that you frequent my blog...I never really know who does unless they say something about it to me so I was excited to hear the news.

Well, instead of writing you a letter in the mail this time, I thought it would be fun to write you a little note here and celebrate your entry into the blogging world together! Thanks so much for your two packages! You knew just the perfect things to send Andrew...we've been having lots of fun with all your goodies. You also know just how to pamper a girl. Thank you. I'm smelling pretty good these days thanks to you! :)

I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. I always have and still do...even from afar. It's such a blessing to have beautiful women like you in my life from which to glean important knowledge and experience. You always know how to lift me up, support me, encourage me and love me...and you've taught your daughter those qualities and so many more with perfection! Thank you for sending me some of your strength in your packages....Love , me

oh, almost forgot...you wanted me to get back to you with this information: I have the Harry, Sophie and I think Christian Shepard's Bush stocking patterns.