I never thought…

I had just pulled out of the oven a beautiful pork tenderloin, this pork tenderloin, in fact. I started slicing it when I heard a boom…not one that startled me any. In our house, if you walk heavy footed in a certain spot in the family room it sounds like Dumbo just entered the building. It was the scream that followed which made my blood race.

Once I saw it, I knew. His foot was dangling to the side and his shin was bulging and mangled…not the perfect leg I knew so well. Mr.Wilson carried our boy to the car and as soon as his back was turned I heard a scream I didn’t recognize…it was coming from my own lips. The Mother, me, who was supposed to hold it together had no control for a moment, but I soon found it. I pulled myself together and got in the driver’s seat. I was in charge of driving the normal 10 minutes to the hospital while Mr.Wilson was in charge of helping our hurting boy. It was cold, icy, and the line of red lights in front of me was blinding…it took 30 min. or more (although, it felt like 4 hours!)

We sang Primary songs, Christmas carols, we even turned on Fireflies (by Owl City) to help the little man manage the pain. We made it to the hospital and broken boy was forced to wait 3 hours without any kind of help for the pain, except for a stuffed dog “Hofu”, his blue silky, and his Daddy’s hand. He was a real trooper.

I was in shock when I saw the x-ray…the break was so severe that the ER doctor couldn’t do anything. His tibia was broken in half and his fibula was fractured as well. He had to send us downtown to Children’s hospital to see the Orthopedic Surgeon – he said we might have to have surgery to place pins in his leg…the only solution for this kind of break in an adult.

So, I was going to take a ride with the little man in an ambulance…the thought made me nauseous. The last time I saw the inside of an ambulance, I was told to prepare myself to grieve the loss of my baby…and rushed to a hospital were he would have the best chance for survival – so, I tried to ignore the sound of my blood racing through my veins as I stepped inside to join my little boy.

I watched him fall in and out of sleep as I tried to calm myself down. Every time he opened his eyes, I made sure all he saw was happy and encouraging smiles in his direction. After our arrival, many room changes, cutting off clothes, additional morphine, x-ray studying and consulting a decision was made…no surgery. whew!

The doctor wanted to leave his leg in a splint and cast it in a week, but I refused to settle for that since the boy’s foot was still dangling awkwardly from his leg. So, they finally agreed with me and put him to sleep to perform a reduction of his leg and then cast it.

I paced the halls as I waited and when I finally got to see him again he was still asleep with a bright blue leg…from his toes to his hip. It was a long night ending with more x-rays, more waiting, no sleep, and constant encouraging energy blasted in the little man’s direction. I was exhausted. I’m still exhausted.

So, we are home. Life has been turned upside down. It’s a good day if I get a shower AND everyone is happy and clothed. We are figuring it out one day at a time, but my back is screaming. (the break is too severe for ANY type of pressure…so carrying is the only way around for a long time) My nights have been spent cutting up pants and sewing Velcro up the seam, administering pain medicine all hours of the night or recovering emotionally from a day FULL of crying… out of pain from the green boy and crying out of necessity from the blue boy.

I could complain about lots of things, but what I’m grateful for is…
his broken bone didn’t break the skin
my little man is strong and brave in the midst of severe pain
we live in a city with an amazing Children’s hospital
I own a sewing machine – and know how to work it
some of my family lives close
there are lots of people who love my cute boy
a blue silky can provide so much comfort

My sweet Andrew, I never thought this would happen to you…I was sure it would be your brother